Where the Apple “geniuses” dwell: In the “Emerald City of New Oz”
  The Apple Store on Fifth Avenue, New York City, USA (a/k/a Oz).

COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY MEANT
TO BE USED, NOT WORSHIPPED

Bowing down to the Macintosh god;
overdosing on ‘Apple (Store) juice’

TECHNICIANS ARE TERMED ‘GENIUSES’
 
By David Maril
 
If a politician campaigning for election ever wanted a captive audience for the purpose of shaking hands, telling a few jokes and making hundreds of empty promises, the perfect setting would be outside an Apple computer product store hours before a new device is introduced for purchase.

These computer fanatics have an insatiable thirst for whatever new product the computer giant invents or modifies and delivers.

Between Apple Watch, Apple Pay, iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, the legion of tech groupies are wired to stand in line for hours by the thousands, outside all of these stores to welcome and marvel at the arrival of new products.

Me? I don’t get it.

Sure, computers are terrific at performing functions related to writing, researching, communication, business and hundreds of tasks and duties too lengthy to list here.

And Apple has impressively forged the reputation of making complex computer technology more user friendly than PC technology and Windows systems.

But you know something, I think this is a lot of nonsense and many of my Apple friends are taking it too far. If you listen to them, working on a Windows PC computer is one step above going back to the Stone Age and you risk becoming obsolete.

The truth is that both types of computer systems are functional, helpful and useful. I’ve split my time evenly between the two systems and I don’t have a preference. As long as the computer works and performs the specific tasks I need, I am satisfied.

  Artist’s rendering of future Apple Stores. A Mansion on the Mount to foster Apple worship?

There are a few specific, but minor, things I like better about Windows, just as there are some aspects of Apple that I prefer. But in the end, I don’t believe PCs represent inferior technology or that Apple merits this loyalty that is approaching fanaticism.

To those of us who have not overdosed on “Apple juice,” this computer worship becomes difficult to understand.

Five years ago, I was buying a hotspot WiFi device for my MacBook Pro to gain mobile Internet access, from Verizon. When I asked the Verizon salesperson to activate the device, he said he and most of the other personnel were PC people and he’d have to get a “kid” in the back of the store to do it.

It took a phone call and a five-minute wait but finally a guy around 16 years old emerged from the warehouse area. As soon as he saw my laptop, a smile broke out on his face.

“Man, you are so lucky to have this model,” he exclaimed. “The new ones aren’t made this way and this is a great computer.”

His tone, however, changed when he began typing in the code for the new WiFi device.

“Hey, you know, you need to take better care of this computer,” he said before disappearing into the back room and then reemerging with a spotless and soft, cleaning rag.

He began to gently rub the laptop down, as if polishing a rare diamond. After he finished putting the WiFi device code in and tested to make sure it worked, he spent a few more minutes cleaning the keyboard and screen.

“You really need to treat this computer better,” he warned, when finished. “These are special machines.”

Apple iPhone 6 Plus Gold LTE Dual- Core 1.4GHz 128GB 4G LTE Unlocked GSM Cell Phone (Price: $1,355.00).

I thanked him and walked away, feeling relieved he hadn’t turned me in to the authorities for computer abuse.

A recent experience related to this same MacBook Pro has turned me off enough to make it doubtful I will ever venture into an Apple Store to buy another Apple computer.

Let me state, for the record, I have been more than pleased with the laptop, which is eight years old. The customer service, however, leaves me cold.

Look, we are talking about a computer, not a person or some type of religious artifact. When it needs to be repaired, you should be able to go in, have it checked and leave it, if necessary, to be fixed.

But no, in the Apple Store culture, that’s being disrespectful and too easy.

First of all, if you need repair service, you’d better go online ahead of time and book an appointment with a technician who is rather immodestly referred to as a “genius.”

If you take the classless approach and walk into an Apple Store without making an appointment, you stand a good chance of either being turned away to come back another day or waiting two hours or more.

After learning the hard way about making an appointment, I showed up on time with my laptop.

The first thing that a nonbeliever notices is the church-like atmosphere in the store, crammed with people mesmerized by the technological products in glass cases.

When your designated “genius” emerges from behind a sliding panel, you almost feel as if you’re being granted an audience with the Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City.

My genius, who looked as if he was at least five years away from not being carded when ordering a drink, never even bothered to turn my laptop on.

“Too old,” he said, handing it back to me seconds after removing it from its cover. “We don’t service these.”

When I questioned whether it was possible to have it repaired anywhere else, he answered with a heavy tone of disdain, that non-Apple places could work on it.

   Apple Store at the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, Calif.

I did get the computer fixed at one of the few repair shops around that works on both Apples and PCs. And it continues to work fine.

I also have an Apple iPhone. But that was purchased at a Verizon store.

And even though I respect Apple products, I can’t come up with a single reason why I would ever set foot in one of their official stores again.

Too much fanaticism, from the customers and the company, gets to me.
 
davidmaril@voiceofbaltimore.org
 
“Inside Pitch” is a weekly opinion column written for Voice of Baltimore by David Maril.
 
EDITOR’S NOTE:  Voice of Baltimore has a former colleague and good friend who no longer speaks to us because several years ago we deigned to criticize a newly purchased Apple product — and the Apple gods’ ungodly nickel-and-dime approach whereby we were charged a rather substantial fee for a proprietary adapter to connect the new device to an older monitor… after first being assured in advance that that would not be an issue.

Upon publishing this week’s Inside Pitch, we can’t help wondering what our erstwhile colleague/friend does these days whenever someone criticizes Apple and its so-called geniuses. Her $1,355.00 Apple iPhone 6 Plus Gold LTE Dual-Core 1.4GHz 128GB 4G LTE Unlocked GSM Cell Phone is too lightweight to be slammed down on someone’s ear.

For that, you need a good old fashioned clunkerphone, preferably of the landline variety.
 
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