SECOND-FUNNIEST OBIT
The New York Times, which is not known for making fun of dead people, ran this line in the lede paragraph of its Page 1 obituary on longtime Cosmopolitan Editor Helen Gurley Brown:
She was 90, though parts of her were considerably younger.
Brown was famous for speaking freely of her multiple cosmetic surgeries, which included a nose job, numerous facelifts, and silicone injections. She died in August 2012, in her entirety.
DELAWARE DAD’S DEMISE AT 80
PROMPTS HUMOROUS OBITUARY
IN BEACH AREA NEWS OUTLET
Walter George Bruhl Jr. is a dead person;
bereft of life, has gone to meet his maker
ASHES TO BE KEPT IN ‘GRECIAN’ URN
TILL FAMILY TIRES OF ITS PRESENCE;
MEMORIAL LUNCH SATURDAY 1 P.M.
Reprinted from Cape Gazette Newspaper
Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark [Del.] and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.
He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.
He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids.
Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.
He was born in Philadelphia, Pa., April 20,1933 at 10:38 p.m., and weighed in at a healthy seven pounds, four ounces, and was 22 inches long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl.
He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother’s great relief, from John Bartram High School in June 1951.
Walter was a Marine Corps veteran of the Korean War, having served from October 1951 to September 1954, with overseas duty in Japan from June 1953 till August 1954. He attained the rank of sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943.
Before his death at age 80 last week in Florida, Walter George Bruhl Jr. composed his own obituary, which went viral on the Internet.
He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Philadelphia Naval Yard from 1956-61; operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961-62; and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962-93. (Very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont, and he always claimed he had only been been hired to fill a position.)
He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Department, and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1963-72. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Department at the old DuPont Airport site (now Barley Mill Plaza).
In 1973 he was promoted to manufacturing engineering technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then “downsized” in December 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June 1994, doing the same job that he had been “downsized” from, and stayed until July 1995.
He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996-99.
There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors.
Cremation will take place at the family’s convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What’s a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week.
Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt’s life in their own way; raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate.
Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.
A memorial luncheon in Walt’s honor will be held Saturday, March 15, at 1 p.m., at Deerfield, Newark, Delaware.
EDITOR’S NOTE:
The obituary was penned by Bruhl himself, sometime before his March 9 death at Charlotte County Hospital in Punta Gorda, Fla., where he was cremated. It is unknown whether he plans to post updates from beyond the grave.
Following its initial publication on CapeGazette.com earlier this week, the obit went viral, attracting a reported 330,000 page views by Friday. According to the decedent’s grandson, when the notice was posted on Facebook and Reddit it attracted another 850,000 views in just two days.
Bruhl’s neighbors in Dewey Beach are appealing alleged preferential treatment the elder Bruhl received from town officials regarding storm damage to his condo during Hurricane Sandy in October 2012.
