The familiar “Kars4Kids” jingle encouraging people to donate their old car “to positively impact a [needy] child’s life and education” can be heard in rock, bluegrass and reggae form, although the basic jingle remains the same.  (To see and hear the “classic” version of the jingle,  click here — just don’t play it too many times… or you’ll probably get a headache!)

Democrats, with too few candidates,
and Republicans, with too many,
offer voters minimal quality
for picking a president

‘KARS4KIDS’ JINGLE BECOMES
A NUISANCE (tinyurl.com/mkv3w4m)

A LAUNDRY LIST OF PET PEEVES
 
By David Maril
 
As the final vestiges of winter snow melt from our memories, it’s time to do some spring cleaning, clearing the deck and airing a laundry list of pet peeves.

It’s vital not to let these annoyances stay bottled up inside and get under your skin.

So in no particular order, here is a list of one person’s annoyances:

 DRIVERS

Drivers who swerve in from a far-left highway passing lane and cut you off, at the last second without even using a turn signal, to make a right turn onto an exit ramp.

Drivers, especially cops, who never use directional signals.

Drivers who go five miles per hour under the speed limit in middle and passing lanes. Besides backing up traffic, this encourages impatient motorists to pass in right lanes, creating additional safety risks.

Drivers who tailgate.

People who park sideways taking up two spaces in a lot to provide special protection for their car. Don’t they think this makes their vehicle a target for vandalism? And what would happen if everyone decided to occupy two spaces?

 POLITICIANS

Politicians who unfortunately make up the majority in both parties basing their campaigns and platforms on the theory that most voters are gullible and stupid.

The flawed primary system in presidential campaigns that allows one-issue zealots, party-machine hacks and big-money interests to have too much influence.

The apparent lack of presidential candidates in the Democratic Party to challenge Hillary Clinton and give the voters some choices.

Too many candidates, and not enough quality choices, in the Republican party.

The absence of respect, diplomacy and etiquette missing when Barack Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu interact. You’d expect more from world leaders representing countries that are close allies.

 JOURNALISTS

With the exception of CBS’s “Face The Nation,” the absence of real journalists on the panels of Sunday morning news/discussion shows. There’s too much reliance on political activists and organizers interrupting each other while arguing back and forth.

Politicians who refuse to answer journalists’ questions and won’t budge from their talking points.

 TELEVISION

Previews for the upcoming episodes of TV shows that reveal too much and give away the plot.

The monopolistic practices of cable and satellite television companies and the fact you can’t order only the stations you want.

Reality TV shows which are aimed for audiences out of touch with reality.

People talking about reality TV shows.

 TELEPHONES

Telephone companies, supposedly in the communication business, making it nearly impossible to speak to a live person when you call for customer service.

The use of, “Is there anything else I can help you with today,” after you’ve finally reached a living company representative on the phone and argued, to no avail, over a bill or policy.

Tech service people who don’t listen to what tasks you want your computer to do and try to flood your brain with functions and information you will never use.

Loud cellphone conversations in any public place.

 ‘NP’

The expression “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome” when someone says “Thank you.”

 SPORTS

Major League Baseball ticket prices in every stadium around the country and Canada. One thing Memorial Stadium will always have over Camden Yards is reasonable prices for families and working-class fans.

Sportscasters who keep saying “past history.” If it’s history, then it’s obviously in the past.

Sportscasters describing someone setting a “new record.” If a record is set, it has to be new.

Television baseball announcers, like the Yankees’ Michael Kay, who do radio play-by-play as if you can’t see what is happening on the screen.

High school football coaches, especially those who double as athletic directors, putting pressure on young athletes to specialize, lift weights 12 months of the year, and only play one sport. This is promoted as increasing the chances of college scholarships but is primarily done in the interest of the coach building a better winning record.

Parents who try to interfere with high school coaches over starting and playing minutes for their kids.

All-Star teams in Little League and other sports programs for children below high school age. The emphasis should be on teaching the kids skills, the importance of teamwork, and fun.

 TRAVEL

Air travelers who close the overhead bins after they’ve stowed their own gear while most of the other passengers are still boarding and have belongings yet to stow.

All the commercial airlines, with the exception of Southwest, who zap their customers with unreasonable penalties and fees when flight itineraries need to be modified.

People who throw their cigarettes out of a car window or onto a sidewalk for someone else to clean up.

People who toss chewing gum into urinals.

Baltimore’s system of public transportation bus routes. If you are a visitor to the city, you’d need to be a geographer to figure out how to travel by bus around the region. Maybe the fact it looks as if someone threw darts at a city map to design the routes is a reason why schedule times are so frequently off and ridership seems to be dropping.

The number of unsynchronized traffic lights on major downtown streets, too often making a driver stop for red at every single intersection.

 WEATHERMEN

TV and radio meteorologists who neglect to use time elements in their forecasts, failing to inform viewers when driving conditions will be at their worst.

Weathermen and women who call themselves — and pretend to be — meteorologists when they really are just unskilled reporters and/or news readers.

 ‘KARS4KIDS’

The “Kars4Kids” radio-commercial jingles. This may be one of the best charities in the world but after several years of hearing different renditions of the irritating song, it’s time for the charity to switch to drastically different commercials.

 EATERIES

Restaurants that, with a pricey dinner, make you pay extra for making a substitution on a vegetable.

An eating establishment that brings lukewarm soup or coffee to the table.

Customers who will place a gigantic order at a coffee shop takeout line and not at least leave the change as a tip.

 MISCELLANEOUS

People who purposely exceed the maximum number of items in express checkout lines at stores and supermarkets because they are more important than everyone else.

Use of noisy gasoline powered leaf-blowers instead of rakes.

Inferior remakes of classic films.

Banks with only two of six counter windows open while 20 or more customers wait in line.

The fact that there are still plenty of items not yet included in this column of complaints….
 
davidmaril@voiceofbaltimore.org
 
“Inside Pitch” is a weekly opinion column written for Voice of Baltimore by David Maril.
 
EDITOR’S NOTE:  “Kars4Kids” is a nonprofit car donation organization that donates proceeds to Jewish children and their families and hosts regular coat and clothing giveaways for the needy nationwide, without regard to religion or race. The organization also distributes school supplies, free backpacks and winter coats and jackets to underprivileged children, and is active in such areas as Queens, Harlem, Staten Island and The Bronx, N.Y.; Washington, D.C.; and Newark, N.J.
 
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