Presidential candidate Donald Trump’s brashness & bluster might be just what the world of television commercials ordered, facts and truth be damned.

ADVERTISING INNOVATORS MAY LEARN
FROM PARTISAN POLITICAL COMMERCIALS
BY CANDIDATES LIKE DONALD TRUMP

BRASHNESS AND BLUSTER;
CRITICIZING, NAME-CALLING
 
By David Maril
 
You have to figure advertising executives who produce television commercials are always hard at work, re- thinking their approaches to peddling their products and influencing the public.

Many advertising producers are no doubt impressed each political season at the effort that goes into trying to win elections with the use of television, radio and Internet commercials.

In most cases, the political commercial is little more than shameless propaganda, turning the candidate into a flawless hero and demonizing the opposition.

Only time will tell what Donald Trump’s impact will be on advertising and self-promotion. If he manages to stay near the top of the polls in the Republican presidential chase, it doesn’t take much imagination to picture him pitching himself in front of a camera the way a salesman tries to unload cars and trucks.

“Look, you know me. I get things done,” you can just see him saying on a commercial.

“I will not be undersold, lowering taxes and putting money back in your pocket. If one of these losers running against me says your taxes will be cut five percent, I’ll make it six.”

Sometimes it makes you wonder if the politicians can get away with criticizing the competition and without having to document their own strong-points; so why not extend the whole concept into the world of general advertising?

Would it be very surprising to soon see any of the following television commercials?

A Ford commercial shows a Chevrolet, broken down on the side of the highway with its hood up. While hundreds of Fords zoom by, a voice snarls, “You can call Chevy and tell them to stop making cars that break down.”

PARENTS AND KIDS SQUEEZED INTO A FORD

Conversely, a Chevrolet advertisement, with Billy Preston’s “Nothing from Nothing” playing in the background, might focus on parents and four kids squeezed into a Ford station wagon, hoping to attend a family outing.

While the father futilely keeps trying to start the car, their neighbors ride by in a Chevrolet. A voice comes on and declares, “Don’t be fooled by their claims. Chevy is for the working family.”

You could see a commercial with a man having his tonsils checked in a doctor’s office. “You say you lost your voice having to yell so loud to be heard on your Verizon cellphone?” the doctor asks.

The patient nods glumly. 

“Here, fill this prescription,” the doctor says.

The camera then pans in on the piece of paper, which has the words “Get an AT&T smartphone” printed on it.

At the same time on another network, a woman is shown holding an AT&T cellphone, straining to hear what is being said by the other party.

We hear the caller say, “Congratulations, you’ve won $1 million in the Resort Jackpot Lottery if you just verify in the next 15 seconds your middle name.”

The woman responds, “I can’t hear you, Oh, I just lost the connection.”

‘VERIZON: A COMPANY THAT WILL FIGHT FOR FAMILIES’

A voice comes on saying, “Don’t miss out on opportunities of a lifetime. Get connected with Verizon, a company that will fight for families.”

Then there’s the commercial with a well-dressed businessman walking on a crowded city street carrying a Starbucks paper cup of coffee, suddenly yelling, “Ouch!” as he spills the hot drink all over his $350 shoes.

His companion, drinking out of a Styrofoam Dunkin’ Donuts cup, says, “I warned you you’d get burned by paper-thin promises of a good cup of coffee.”

Airing later, we see a commercial with two affluent women leaving a Starbucks, savoring their coffees. They see a sloppy looking guy drive by with his radio blaring and thick black smoke coming out of the exhaust. As he passes them, he tosses an empty Dunkin’ Donuts Styrofoam coffee cup out of his car, littering the sidewalk.

“Coffee tastes even better when you are doing your part to save the environment,” one of the women says to the other.

An Amtrak commercial features a business traveler tripping near a crowded airport gate and being trampled by other people boarding a Delta shuttle to New York.

In the next scene, he’s shown crammed into a middle seat between a couple of 300-pound passengers as the airplane rocks and dips, making him sick.

The final scene has him sitting in a cab, stuck in traffic, going from the airport to downtown Manhattan.

AMTRAK DINING CAR WITH RELAXED, SMILING COMMUTERS

The commercial then shifts to an Amtrak dining car, filled with relaxed, smiling commuters, pulling into Penn Station. 

A narrator’s voice intones, “If you want to arrive for your business meeting in New York refreshed, travel the civilized way on Amtrak.”

In contrast, an airline commercial opens showing commuters looking out the window of the stalled Amtrak train at the Manhattan skyline. A yawning  passenger turns to his business traveling partner and says, “I know it’s a great view but we’ve been sitting here for over an hour.” 

Up on the screen pops the message, “The following was brought to you by Delta Airlines.”

A FedEx commercial would show a UPS truck with its hood up, broken down on the highway.

The UPS commercial would have packages and envelopes blowing off a conveyer belt loading a Federal Express airplane, getting tossed all over the airport runway.

Heinz would run a commercial with Hunts ketchup spilling all over a server’s white shirt.

Hunts would feature a commercial with a person using a hammer, and finally a sledgehammer, trying to force the Heinz ketchup out of the bottle and onto a hamburger.

If the business world proves you can boost sales simply by criticizing the competition, you can count on politicians coming back and taking commercials to an even harsher, more insulting level.

We might end up with a president who is somewhere a cross between Donald Trump and Don Rickles.
 
davidmaril@voiceofbaltimore.org
 
“Inside Pitch” is a weekly opinion column written for Voice of Baltimore by David Maril.
 
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