Why do so many people move from multi-level homes into apartments & condos to avoid stairs, opt to ride elevators and escalators to go up even a single flight, then spend hours at health clubs & gyms using StairMaster machines?

MANY FOLKS MOVE TO CONDO WITHOUT STAIRS,
THEN EXERCISE ON STAIRMASTER  IN THE GYM
WHILE RIDING ELEVATORS EVERYPLACE ELSE

Members drive to the club, then park their car
as close to door as possible, to avoid walking

MEMBERSHIP AS MOTIVATION TO EXERCISE
 
By David Maril
 
Many physical fitness clubs crack me up.

Don’t get me wrong: With so many Americans overweight and health coverage providers starting to reward people who stay in shape, fitness centers serve an important function.

No matter what your workout level, goals, and routines, there are plenty of fitness club options and choices for people of all ages at a wide range of prices.

And for much of my life, no matter where I lived, I always had a membership at one place or another.

It often seemed to me, however, that health clubs frequently seem to bring out some of the more quirky and contradictory sides of human behavior.

Start with the parking lots.

Why is it that so many fitness club members coming in for a strenuous regimen park as close to the door as possible to save a few steps? It’s as if physical fitness starts when they enter the building and ends when they leave.

Is there a reason why so many staff members at health and fitness clubs, with their natty official club-workout costumes and high-priced sneakers, are continually stepping outdoors for a smoke? That’s the ultimate example of not practicing what you preach.

Why do so many people leave their multi-level homes and move into apartments and condos to cut down on stairs and then spend hours each week at a club using StairMaster machines? Most of these individuals will always choose to use an elevator to go up a single flight of stairs.

Oftentimes the fitness club you belong to transforms into something else.

One fitness center I belonged to years ago went from being locally owned to joining a posh chain that switched the emphasis from conditioning, to socializing in a fancy lounge.

With higher fees for corporate and affluent clientele, the new management did its best to drive most of us holdover members out, who were protected by our frozen, original rates.

It was fascinating to observe how a new social structure evolved: There was one group of the new, high profile members who seemed to receive special treatment.

ORIGINAL MEMBERS TREATED LIKE INTRUDERS

They were often provided complimentary towels and coffee, without any explanation, and the management went out of its way to greet these select individuals while treating the original members like intruders.

Many of us labeled this elite group the club’s Hall of Famers. They would talk among themselves but only spoke to the general membership when it was absolutely necessary.

I recall one Hall of Famer used to shower and shave before playing   racquetball, as if his match was being televised and he had an audience of admirers.

The second membership group that also rapidly evolved, we called pledges. They would go out of their way to curry favor with the Hall of Famers, hoping to someday get accepted into that inner social circle.

This pledge process seldom worked. To reach the elite inner circle, you needed to be anointed by club management.

The third group, which started off as the largest but was eventually driven out, just wanted to work out and not be bothered with the social structure. Most of us in that group ended up leaving for other clubs after a year.

Another irony is that while many dedicated members praise the mental benefits that go with a good physical workout, you still hear them detailing their aggravations at their club.

IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRAINING CIRCUIT

One fitness enthusiast I know is always complaining about people who abruptly jump in to use a weight machine while he’s in the middle of a training circuit, thereby ruining his routine.

“They have no clue as to what other people are doing,” he complains. “Then, while you’re waiting for them to finish, they’ll sit there and start talking to someone else. When they finally finish and leave the machine, they don’t even bother to wipe it down. It really ticks me off.”

Another person I used to know complained about a specific member who personally drove him crazy.

“I’m on the lifecycle, trying to forget everything and this guy comes over every time he sees me and starts telling me things I don’t want to hear, about his personal problems. I’m sitting there trapped, peddling faster and faster and I wish the bike had wheels so I could ride away.”

Turnout is another funny thing.

It always seemed to me that several months into a new year the fitness clubs started to look empty. When I asked one of the owners if they were going through tough times, he said no and informed me they had over 2,000 members.

“Most of them stop coming a month or so after the holidays, after they pay and sign up,” he explained.  “They believe the membership will provide motivation to show up.  But they get sidetracked and stop coming. It’s no matter, we are still getting their monthly dues.”

On the bright side, this means the machines aren’t crowded. It’s easier to get through a workout and there’s less of a maintenance cost for the club.

For the sake of the no-shows, you hope they at least are climbing stairs instead of using elevators.
 
davidmaril@hermanmaril.com
 
“Inside Pitch” is a weekly opinion column written for Voice of Baltimore by David Maril.
 
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