ALLOWING CELLPHONES TO BE KEPT ON
DURING ALL TAKEOFFS AND LANDINGS
DOES A DISSERVICE TO PASSENGERS

Obnoxious ringtones, unlimited chatter
threaten  to dominate  ‘friendly skies’

CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT CELLPHONE ACCESS?
 
By David Maril
 
We’re told not to text when we are driving. We’re lectured on the dangers of steering a motor vehicle while talking on a cellphone.  In Maryland, texting and holding a phone while driving has become illegal.

But while these legitimate restrictions on use of portable electronic devices (PEDs) are increasing on roads and highways, just the opposite is happening with airplanes. Recently, the Federal Aviation Administration caved in to the whining furor of passengers who insist they are unable to cope without access to electronic gadgetry every second of their waking hours.

For years, because of concerns that use of electronic devices might interfere with airplane controls on takeoffs and landings, passengers had to power off their gadgets for 15 or 20 minutes of their flights. Many found this so intolerable, they’d cheat, hiding their devices when the flight attendants walked by, getting a few more seconds of use until another passenger objected and threatened to complain.

Some critics of this safety precaution even insisted it was a form of child abuse, making youngsters sit on a flight for a few minutes without some type of gadget to keep them entertained. Those who suggested reading a book or engaging in conversation were accused of being out of touch and unreasonable.

I fly a lot and while I don’t have an opinion on whether watching a DVD can interfere with the pilots’ controls, it seemed galling to me that a few passengers felt they were entitled to not follow the rules of shutting their gadget off for a few minutes.

One time sitting in the emergency row, a woman next to me suddenly turned on her iPhone just as we were getting ready to take off. I told her to shut the phone off, that she was breaking the rules. Her response was, “My husband is a pilot and he says this doesn’t interfere with safety.”

HUSBAND WASN’T FLYING THE AIRPLANE

I replied that her husband wasn’t flying this airplane and if she didn’t shut it off I was going to get a flight attendant.

“Oh, you must be the sheriff in charge of enforcement,” she responded in a defiant tone.

I asked her why she should have special privileges others don’t have and was curious whether she was one of those people who drives in restricted breakdown lanes while everyone else waits their turn in traffic jams.

Needless to say, there wasn’t much conversation the rest of the flight.

Which was probably a good thing.

So at the very least, the FAA ruling will eliminate this type of friction between passengers since the devices will no longer have to be shut off.

You can’t help but wonder, however, if this obsession with always being “connected” is such a good thing.

And how long will it take the cellphone lobbyists to demand freedom to make calls during flights?

If they win their campaign, flying will become even more aggravating than it already is. On top of being strapped into a seat with minimal legroom and having to breathe re-circulated air, the irritation factor of ridiculous cellphone rings and the babble of conversations you don’t need to hear echoing through the airplane could prove to be torture.

CIVILIZED RINGS OF LANDLINE PHONES

It seemed sad when the civilized rings of traditional landline phones were replaced by electronic whistles and blasts that could also be used as alarms on security systems.

It was bad enough when we had to become acclimated to meals being interrupted by beeping devices putting the spotlight on someone at the table receiving a phone call.

At first, phone owners would apologize and quickly turn the phones off. Then it became so commonplace, the apology would be followed by a five-minute conversation nobody in the room wanted to hear.

This rudeness became so prevalent, announcements and warnings had to be issued at concerts, lectures and public places that cellphones must be turned off.

The worst, however, was yet to come.

TUNES ONLY THE OWNER WANTS TO HEAR

Instead of just having to put up with irritating disturbances, we have graduated to portable noise- makers blaring out cheap, loud and tinny renditions of tunes only the owner of the phone wants to hear.

You might be having a serious conversation and suddenly a pitiful rendition of a pathetic ABBA hit can be heard for a city block as a person 20 feet away fumbles to answer the call and halt the disturbance.

You could be deep in thought, trying to come up with an idea at work or devise a creative solution to a problem, and then “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” echoes from a nearby cellphone.

The assortment of atrocious tunes is endless and too lengthy to list here.

But the point isn’t to criticize music tastes. What one person finds appealing may very well be appalling to another. The issue is why so many with cellphones find it necessary to force their music choices down other people’s throats.

Is it simply being self-centered and insensitive, or is there more?

Why do so few cellphone owners fail to use the vibrating mode when they’re out in public?

And when did it become a big deal creating so much noise to signal getting a simple telephone call? Are we at the point where we need an Ed McMahon voice bellowing, “Heeeerssssss a phonnnnnne callllllll!”?

BLARING RAP MUSIC WHEN A CALL COMES IN

If blaring rap music when a call comes in is acceptable, why not program in a laser light show or have a stadium bugle go off with a crowd-recording yelling: “Charge!”?

Those who devised this stupid and noise-polluting phone option should pay for their damage to the environment.

Right off the top of my head, I’d say they should have to spend five hours a day locked in a room, on a coast-to-coast flight, listening to recordings of a street sledgehammer, Rod Stewart butchering the American songbook, and Tim McCarver explaining double plays. They wouldn’t be released until they demonstrated they had learned how to manufacture and market cellphones with authentic telephone rings.

If phone use on flights does become legal, maybe the FAA, Transportation Security Administration and airline unions should ban ringtones and require use of the vibrating mode.

The thought of loud phone chatter and stupid-sounding rings on airplane flights suddenly makes texting seem to be the most thoughtful type of communication.
 
davidmaril@hermanmaril.com
 
“Inside Pitch” is a weekly opinion column written for Voice of Baltimore by David Maril.
 
EDITOR’S NOTE:  On Monday, American Airlines obtained approval from the Federal Aviation Admin- istration for its plan to allow customers to expand their use of portable electronic devices on board the company’s entire mainline fleet, as well as regional aircraft operated by its subsidiary, American Eagle. American was able to move more quickly than most other carriers because it sat on the Aviation Rulemaking Advisory Committee at the FAA that helped craft the new ruling on PEDs.

According to the FAA, “Passengers will eventually be able to read e-books, play games, and watch videos on their devices during all phases of flight, with very limited exceptions…. If your air carrier provides Wi-Fi service during flight, you may use those services.”
 
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