A Voice of Baltimore Satire/Commentary

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Bryan Cranston as Walter White, the clandestinely named ‘Heisenberg’ of the acclaimed AMC Network series ‘Breaking Bad.’

Bryan Cranston as meth cooker Walter White, clandestinely named “Heisenberg” of the highly acclaimed AMC TV series “Breaking Bad.”  White has hired on as a commentator for Voice of Baltimore.

‘BREAKING BAD’ PROTAGONIST
OFFERS NEW TAKE ON A CLASSIC;
‘WALTER WHITE, HISTORIAN’

‘Heisenberg’ surveys an uncertain field

THE ‘PERRY WHITE’ OF THE PUNDITS
 
By Jay Liner
 
One of the all-time greatest works of political writing and reporting was Theodore H. White’s revolutionary The Making of the President 1960, a classic of presidential punditry which launched an entire genre of successors that to this day are copycatted every four years during the election cycle.

Winner of the 1962 Pulitzer Prize for General Nonfiction, the book is still considered the bible for telling the inside story of John F. Kennedy’s narrow victory over Richard Nixon.

White, a Harvard-educated journalist/historian and grandson of a Hasidic rabbi from Belarus, told the story in great detail with access to the candidates, and wove a tale that kept readers turning the pages à la a mystery thriller.

The self-described “storyteller of elections” went on to write about the 1964, ’68, ’72, ’76, and ‘80 elections utilizing the same format, but his initial effort was a masterpiece and propelled him into superstar status.

White is long gone to the filibuster in the sky and a “new White” has emerged as the man with the plan to put all the pieces together into a coherent narrative that will tell us the story of our next president.

The new White is Theodore’s long-lost “cousin” twice removed, “Walter White” (a/k/a “Heisenberg”) of “Breaking Bad,” played to perfection by the wonderful Bryan Cranston.

For those of you who didn’t watch the show, now off the air, you missed one of the most acclaimed series of the current “Golden Age of Television,” listed by Guinness World Records as the highest- rated TV show of all time, having won 16 Primetime Emmy Awards during its six-year run (from 2008 through ’13).

Star Bryan Cranston won the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series four times over six years for his phenomenal performance in the role of a lifetime, and the show garnered a total of 262 industry-award nominations, winning 110 of them.

Terminally ill Walter White’s objective was to leave his family financially well-fixed following his inevitable death from lung cancer.

Terminally ill Walter White’s objective was to leave his family and physically chal- lenged son financially well-fixed following his inevitable death from lung cancer.

White/Heisenberg is a mild- mannered high school chemistry teacher living in Albuquerque, New Mexico, who is suddenly and unfortunately diagnosed with inoperable Stage 3A lung cancer.

Wanting to leave his family financially secure when he dies, including a son who is physically challenged, Heisenberg decides to become a crystal meth cooker.

So he teams up with a meth head and the show becomes a ride into the darkest recesses of human behavior, with depravity taking on a whole new meaning.

White’s brother-in-law on the show is a DEA agent who doesn’t figure it all out until the last season of their six-year run. If you were into the show it was as addictive as the crystal meth.

White now is analyzing — exclusively for Voice of Baltimore! — the presidential candidates currently chasing the gold ring; and like the good scientist, historian and documenter that he is, is putting it all together in a narrative that will spellbind you just as his “cousin” Teddy did.

Like Theodore, Heisenberg’s political credentials are impressive, impeccable and unimpeachable.

For starters, having tangled with Mexican drug cartels during his heyday has brought him special insight into the immigration dilemma now disrupting the country.

Guns and automatic weapons are no mystery to him. They are simply tools of the trade, and he can riff about gun control with the best of them. He may not be Wayne LaPierre, but like that other Vice President we all know and love, he understands well how to shoot from the hip.

Health care through his cancer treatment makes him intimately knowledgeable on that front also, even though he lacks the pediatric neurosurgery skills of conservative presidential hopeful Ben Carson… or Carson’s connection to Johns Hopkins Hospital and a city well-known for its drugs.

Plus he can discuss the ins and outs of the educational process having been a teacher.

We all know Jimmy Carter was an experienced Sunday School teacher at his church, and look what a great Chief Executive that educational skill enabled him to become!

John F. Kennedy, left, and then-Vice President Richard Nixon prepare to debate on live television during the presidential campaign of 1960.

John F. Kennedy, left, and then-Vice President Richard M. Nixon prepare to debate on live television during the presidential campaign of 1960, which Kennedy narrowly won.

No one can deny that Walter White knows his stuff and can differentiate the real candidates from the contenders and also-rans. He knows his s**t.

But the current campaign is far different from the election of 1960. This year there are currently 17 GOP hopefuls in the presidential sweepstakes, 10 of whom participated in the first Republican debate, on live TV last night.

In 1960 John Kennedy had just a handful of opponents for the nomination.

On the GOP side, incumbent Vice President Nixon was unopposed.

However the current Republican field is not lacking in wannabe’s, and has the all-time publicity whore Donald Trump, who makes Muhammad Ali in his prime look tepid. Plus The Donald proved in last night’s TV debate he can spar with the best of them.

The Democrats are getting their share of “so what?” with Hillary perched and Vice President Joe Biden who wants to crash the party.

Perhaps if Independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders gives the anointed former First Lady/ carpetbagging New York Senator and embattled Obama Secretary of State a run for her money in the early Democratic contests — as he currently seems to be doing — ole Foot-in-the-Mouth Joe might just step in and make a race out of it?

Still, unlike 1960, the Democratic field is minimal compared to the Republicans, begging the musical question:  “Has anybody here seen our old friend Martin?”

But count on Heisenberg to dissect the contest and provide insight as only a political pundit named White can.

He can promise you that he will make sense out of nonsense — or vice versa — separate the pre-tenders from the con-tenders, and enlighten all of those who need to see the light.

Of course the election won’t take place until Nov. 8, 2016, just a paltry 459 days from today (leap year next year). No one ever accused America of not taking long enough to elect a president.

Political satirist/comedian Jon Stewart signed off The Daily Show last night after 16 years on the air, leaving the field of political humor wide open for Walter White a/k/a Heisenberg.

Political satirist/comedian Jon Stewart signed off “The Daily Show” last night after 16 highly successful years on the air, leaving the field of political humor wide open for “Breaking Bad”’s Walter White (a/k/a “Heisenberg”).

But with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert leaving the Comedy Central fold, we’re now stuck up the creek without a paddle for satiric political punditry from familiar sources.

So rest assured, Walter White will fill the void and deliver the message out to the hinterlands.

Heisenberg can be counted on to carry the torch till the very last vote is tabulated, and paint a portrait for all those who thirst for “truth, justice and the American way.”

Who knows? he may well be “The ‘Perry White’ of the Pundits.”

He is out on the hustings now, searching for phone booths and gathering wisdom, both of which seem to be in short supply this election season.

Don’t miss it!
 
jay.l.liner@gmail.com
 
Voice of Baltimore Managing Editor ALan Z. Forman contributed to this commentary, assisted by local satirist J.R. Seifert Jr., a civil servant who admits to being “part of the problem.”
 
EDITOR’S NOTE:

Jay Liner is an attorney practicing in Pikesville and is an avid political observer… who does not mince words.

Be sure to keep reading his commentaries on Voice of Baltimore for Walter White’s critical analysis of the 2016 presidential election.

“We’ll be right back” as soon as he (i.e., Liner in the person of Heisenberg) determines whether the campaign is breaking good, breaking bad or just simply breaking.

Wayne R. LaPierre Jr. is Executive Vice President of the National Rifle Association and is a staunch advocate of the right to keep and bear arms.

Perry White is the fictional editor-in-chief of the fictional Metropolis newspaper, the Daily Planet, and is believed to be distantly related to the White cousins, Walter and Theodore, one fictional, the other not so much so.

However Superman and his alter-ego Clark Kent are real.
 
CHECK OUT JAY LINER’S MOST RECENT VOICE OF BALTIMORE ENTRY:  click here  — and view all of his VoB commentaries  by clicking here
 

One Response to “CRYSTAL BALL ‘COOKER’ — Theodore White’s long-lost ‘cousin’ and The Making of the President 2016”

  1. » Blog Archive ‘SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL’ — Or, How Donald Trump’s megalomania has the country playing ‘Name That Tune’ -

    […] previous commentary if you want clarification on “White/Heisenberg” — so be sure to  click here  for the dope.]   Since his performance at last week’s GOP “de-fête” (a/k/a […]

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